


Grief

by B1ue



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: M/M, Mostly sad I suppose, Shipping if you squint real hard, Spoilers for entire DRK quest, like all of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 02:17:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6451546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B1ue/pseuds/B1ue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Warning: Spoilers for the entire Dark Knight questline]</p>
<p>The first few weeks were the hardest. It had been difficult enough looking out for themselves upon the death of their master but now they had added a little girl to their mix.</p>
<p>And then Fray left them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grief

**Author's Note:**

> Found this one in quite a ways back in my google docs. Gave it a little brush up. I remember Sid fighting me every step of the way so hopefully it came out alright.

The first few weeks were the hardest. It had been difficult enough looking out for themselves upon the death of their master but now they had added a little girl to their mix.

And then Fray left them.

Sidurgu had wished nothing more than to be left alone in his grief but he was unwilling to endanger the life of the little girl that Fray had so willingly gave up his own in exchange. He couldn’t dishonor his sacrifice like that. How could he when he had been unable to even give him a proper burial?

Oh he tried though. He had searched the Brume high and low for the body. A couple or so Templar Knights had met their doom at the end of his sword during his questioning. It was for Fray, he told himself as he wiped his blade clean in the snow. He had heard whispers of the trial and how in the end they ran him through with a sword. His chest burned to even think upon that.

It was only fair they received the same in exchange.

He couldn’t sleep. His dreams were fraught with nightmares. The news of his capture replayed over and over. And times he would be in the godsforsaken arena watching as the crowd screamed and thirsted for blood and how he would glance back up and there would be Fray with a sword protruding his chest, his eyes locked with his.

_‘Why didn’t you save me?’_

Sidurgu could count on one hand the number of times he had cried. The nights following Fray’s death had easily doubled that number. The sorrow would then turn to anger and anger into bloodshed.

Rielle would cry over him when he would return to their little room. Blood coated every inch of his armor, though not all was his. Her healing was getting better, he thought to himself as he watched his skin neatly knit itself back together with narly a scar. Fray did this for him often back when they were still training. There was something comfortingly familiar in the way the magic would run through his veins.

If he closed his eyes he could pretend the other...

This however did naught to fill the void. The illusion would shatter as the magic stopped flowing and Rielle would be gazing at him with tear filled eyes. He would then look away, guilt marring his features.

He couldn’t keep doing this to her, but he couldn’t help that small twinge of satisfaction upon bathing his blade in the blood of yet another dog of the Holy See. If anything it was better than the sorrow and guilt that laid so heavily upon his heart.

Time pressed on and a new set of rumors reached his ears. He could scarce believe them. Fray’s sword had been spotted in the hands of an adventurer? Chances are they also had his soul stone. Fury had taken him then and he felt the darkness creeping in on his vision.

But there was hope.

He had hunted down and watched the adventurer from afar. From the back it almost seemed like him, that familiar step, the breathless ease at which he had carried that swor-

He frowned.

It was not Fray. It was definitely Fray’s weapon and the adventurer’s fighting stance was somewhat reminiscent of Fray’s. He could feel the bit of hope die before his own eyes. However how they fought compared to the graceful beauty that was Fray’s seemed almost how a faded crumpled up old picture of a rose could compare to the vivid beauty of the real thing. It seemed a cruel mockery of the man and pained him to watch. Yet... he could not tear his eyes away.

Their steps were unwieldy but their eyes trained and hardened in a way that bespoke of their own darkness. They had blended Fray’s style with an indescribable experience that attested of something more. Perhaps he thought after examining it, it was not as horrid as he believed originally. As much as he wished to step in, even he knew the dangers of stepping too closely into a regularly patrolled Templar Knight area. With one last look he turned and disappeared down an alleyway.

He supposed, it was incredible that Fray’s legacy still yet lived. However the wound was still fresh and he could not bear to look upon it long. It still burned him to think that someone else had taken the sword and soulstone but it seemed that there had been no dishonor in such. It brought a small amount of comfort.

The nightmares dulled in their roars that night. For that he was forever grateful.

\--

He couldn’t help but laugh, the famed Warrior of Light was the adventurer who had taken up Fray’s mantle. Even the mightest hero of Eorzea had their darkness, he mused. However it seemed that wrapped throughout the darkness was an incredible thread of kindness that the darkness could not so easily consume. Sidurgu couldn’t help but muse that perhaps that’s why they had become such an incredible warrior in such a short time. No small wonder why the Warrior of Light was such a beloved figure.

As strong as she was, Rielle was still yet a child. She had come to terms with all that occurred with her mother but the death still had its lingering effects. He held her as she cried, rubbing soothing little circles on her back. How could anyone hate someone as sweet as her was still beyond him. Drying her tears he gently laid her down to bed and tucked her in. He brushed a small kiss to her forehead as she drifted to sleep.

It was difficult seeing her go through grief yet again. She had not known Fray as well as he but she had been devastated by his loss as well. Watching her go through the stages again, Sidurgu felt a familiar sense of sadness return.

It was with this he approached the Warrior of Light once more.

There was no difficulty finding them. Their friend Tataru was a consistent figure in the Forgotten Knight. A few words of exchange and within the next evening the Warrior of Light was seated across the table from him.

“I… I have a request to make of you.”

The Warrior raised an eyebrow, curiosity brimming at the forefront.

Sidurgu gave a sigh. The heaviness weighed on his breath. “If it doesn’t trouble you much, may I see Fra- I mean your soulstone one last time?”

A knowing look crossed the Warrior’s eyes. They gave a small smile. Without a moment of hesitation they pulled the little stone from their pocket and gently placed it on the table in front of him.

It was with a hint of reluctance he placed the stone into his hand. Dark swirls peered at him from beneath the surface. A new scratch nicked the very top of the stone. He could feel the stone hum brightly in resonance with the soul across from him.

But it was not the light he searched for.

He focused, allowing himself to prod deeper still. And there at it’s very core was the one thing he seeked. A small nestled bundle of memories flowed through him. In his mind’s eye an incredibly familiar pair of eyes gleamed back at him and smiled. Fray...

“...you’re crying.”

Sidurgu’s eyes opened. He was back at the inn. The Warrior of Light had spoken ever so softly to him. Reaching a hand up he felt a wetness traveling down his cheek.

“He spoke of you every now and then.”

Sidurgu snapped to attention.

The Warrior leaned forward, eyes never leaving the stone. “At first I thought he had gone completely crazy but there had been moments where he seemed more solid… more human I suppose… He cared deeply for you.”

The Au Ra handed the stone back. The Warrior of Light lifted their head and bore their gaze into him. “He still does,” they whispered ever so softly.

The tears were flowing again. This time Sidurgu made no effort to stop them. He gave a pained smile. “...Thank you.”

For the first time in months, he slept well that night.

**Author's Note:**

> This was mainly inspired through an old archived thread over the nature of soul stones. The general consensus was that they held a collection of sort of the memories of the previous wielders. Also [Pherae](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Pherae) over there was making me emotional about the DRK family so suffice to say this is their fault.


End file.
